i havent been thinking of you for a long time now, perhaps i'm over this "crush" that i used to have. ok i know i am. still, i wished things could be different. perhaps i shouldnt have done those things ,but i didnt know then how things would change. mabbe i pushed it too far, and now we cannot turn back. pity we cannot start again, pity i lost a friend i would like to have. i think you would be a very good friend... regret perhaps that i irritated you, but not of my confession. there is a price to pay of course, but even before that i knew i've lost the delicate friendship that just started. trying to salvage things to no avail, still dwelling on sweet memories, missing you constantly for the next few months, then gradually forgetting, all of which came rushing back when i see u again. it just strikes a chore in me, your sweet smile and personality n "niceness". almost feel that u are too nice by far.. always nice and polite, taking things in stride even in unfair situations.... it doesnt even show if u are angry, perhaps u are not. even so, i felt the anger and unfairness for u. mabbe thats why i liked you in the first place, so nice that i cant stand it, so nice that i felt like i've been "bullying" you, so nice that i feel guilty, and so sweet that i cant forget...
